Tag Archives: Fives

Five Reasons Deathwing Should Have Visited Major Cities All Along

1. Deathwing has been an impersonal villain this expansion. We should get to see his softer, gentler side. With catapults.

2. Raiders would have a truly personal reason for killing Deathwing: avenging their slain bank alts.

3. Human hunters named Bard are currently out of fashion.

4. Scatters alts throughout cities in hopes of 1) getting burned and 2) figuring out how Deathwing is going to get into Ironforge, Undercity, and The Exodar.

5. Maximum epicosity.



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Five PvP Gear Set Names I’d Like To See In The Next Expansion

  1. Mildly Irritated Gladiator’s Gear
  2. Tiny, Angry Gladiator’s Gear
  3. Ugly But Still More Attractive Than PvE Tier Gear Gladiator’s Gear
  4. My Little Gladiator: PvP is Magic Gladiator’s Gear
  5. Fucking Hostile Gladiator’s Gear


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Five Quality of Life Improvements I’d Like to See in WoW

There was a question on the class feedback threads – what quality of life improvements would you like to see? – that I quite liked. My only complaint is that it was class-specific, not general.

So, here’s my non-warlock list.

1. Bring back the city portals. In an effort to get everyone out to see the world, removing the city portals concentrated everyone in SW and Org. No, not concentrated – isolated. Most toons don’t leave the city. (Corollary: give mages a wider variety of ports.)

2. Allow people to change their RealID names. Learn from Facebook and Google+; people want the features of RealID without divulging personal info. This is still an issue, even if the forums don’t require it.

3. Clickable fishing poles. This is a small thing, but it screws up new players all the time. Most items are click-to-use, but not poles, and not ranged/thrown, for that matter. Having to find the ability is jarring.

4. Publish your Macro API and keep it up to date. Include basic tutorials in-game for making /startattack macros to streamline early play. Stop breaking my focus macros! 🙂

5. Cross-server heirlooms. Seriously, I could fill a list with this one entry. The inability to send heirlooms around really dampens playing on different servers with friends. If this is too big of a problem to solve, consider controllable XP buffs instead – you “unlock” certain tiers of XP gain that can be toggled on and off for a fee, just like the Experience Eliminators. Divorce the XP boost from the gear.


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Five Reasons I Cancelled My Remote Auction House Account

  1. Don’t really play the AH anymore. When I do, it’s almost all automated scans with Auctioneer.
  2. When I have a few spare cycles, I play non-WoW phone games now, like Frisbee or Angry Birds.
  3. Guild chat? Don’t use it, I have Twitter.
  4. Spending 20 minutes hunting for virtual bargains while walking outside means 20 minutes not paying attention to where I’m walking. Ouch!
  5. $36/year.

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Five Levels of How Much I Think My Post Sucks

Like most writers, I think most of what I write is crap. I’ve learned to suppress this kind of thinking long enough to hit Post and ignore the doubts and internal criticism, but hot damn if I don’t do it.

  1. Windbag: “Holy fuck, did I just take 4000 words to make my point? WTF, Cyn? Could you ramble a little more?
  2. Ranty McRanterson: “Seriously, isn’t this like the fourth time you’ve bitched about this? How long are you going to whine about Tol Barad / PVP gear / irrational exploit policies?”
  3. Fuck You Politeness: “Listen, you’re going to spend an extra two hours making this sound reasonable and balanced, when all you really want to do is tell that person to fucking adapt. You’re losing sleep for politeness’s sake. Tell them to fucking deal with it already.”
  4. Shut Up You Hack: “Oh god you haven’t researched this extensively what if there’s a minor mistake your credibility will be gone you’ll have to delete the blog and twitter and enter a monastery, not the Shao-lin ones where you trained to be a badass, either. Puhlease.”
  5. Powerpoint Is Better Than This Drek: “Seriously, I could make a powerpoint with a bunch of fucking made up boxes and arrows and THE CLOUD and it would be better than this piece of shit.”

Related: the latest CBM post is too fucking long.


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Five Crackpot Theories on why the Tanking Change is a Hotfix and not a Patch

Ghostcrawler has an interesting post up today about some radical changes to threat that are going to be applied in two parts – first as a hotfix this week, and more substantial changes in the next patch.

I don’t have much to say about the change, given that I’ve yet to run a single Cataclysm dungeon, let alone heroics, and that my occasional forays into raiding have been as subs for people who have to leave or are no-shows. My opinion is generally favorable, but I’m by no means versed in the subject matter – therefore, this isn’t about whether it’s a good change or bad.

I do find it highly curious that they’re doing this as a hotfix, though.

Five theories why, some crackpotish, some not. I’ll let you decide.

Theory 1: School starts in the next 1-3 weeks. This move is to recapture players who have been away on break.

This should be pretty self-explanatory, but summer is almost over. It’s been so beastly hot that it’s easy to forget that, but – September is almost here. Dang.

If there’s a lot of players who have stepped away for the summer, making it easier for them to get back into the swing of things (gearing up for Firelands, etc.) will help keep them active and engaged.

Theory 2: Middle of the 3rd Quarter; Blizzard management says sub numbers HAVE to go up in Q3/Q4.

Pretty standard timing theory here. ATVI stock price is down a buck from their earnings call, and $1.40 from the high hit in July (I expect there was some selloff with insider knowledge there) DESPITE having posted solid numbers. My personal opinion is that the PR issue of subs leaving WoW is actually bigger than the financial one, but I could see management stepping in and saying that you need to fix the product to prevent it from being an issue again.

Given that there are only 6 weeks left in Q3, coupled with theory 1 above, there isn’t time for long patch cycles.

Theory 3: LFD is too brutal.

I think there’s a lot of focus on the heroic dungeon finder at Blizzard, as it’s something a lot of endgame players do (even moreso than raiding.) Fixing the tank shortage and making it fun for everyone affects a lot of the player base – not just tanks, but DPS and healers, too.

If done well, removing threat as an issue benefits everyone. DPS as a group don’t have to worry about throttling. DPS without aggro dumps don’t have to worry about substantially outgearing the tank. Tanks don’t have to worry about overzealous DPS. Healers don’t have to try to save DPS who screwed up on threat.

If done poorly, then it’s like nothing has really changed.

Theory 4: This was planned cover for another gaming industry announcement.

Blizzard’s PR department keeps tabs on the industry, and there was an EA press conference today. Some pretty substantial stuff got announced – more SW:TOR demos, ME3 trailers, a new MMO, FIFA 2012, lots of stuff.

Blizzard had two things in the can to keep WoW players focused on WoW today – RealID cross-server grouping to remain free, and massive tanking changes.

Guess what the WoW community is talking about today?

Theory 5: This is an easy change to make via hotfix, and gets them feedback NOW that they can’t simulate in the PTR.

The only change actually being made via hotfix is:

The threat generated by classes in their tanking mode has been increased from three times damage done to five times damage done.

This is a relatively simple change – you’re adjusting the threat modifier on 4 abilities, nothing more. The Vengeance changes are more complicated, and may require reworking of several abilities. Blizzard wants the changes to go in quickly, both to make an impact (perhaps for the other reasons stated above), but also to start gathering real data about how it affects the LFD.

I suspect LFD testing is somewhat flawed in the PTR. I don’t have any evidence to really prove this, but I can imagine that the social changes they’re trying to effect are limited by the small, self-selected sample size of PTR testers.Notice how GC asks for feedback eleventy-million times in his post? They want to see what happens. This is the direction they want to go in, may as well start easy and see how it works out.

Okay, those are my theories about why this is a hotfix and not a patch – how about yours?


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Five Things My Main Snarks About Hellfire Pennisula

Cynwise, fill us in on everyone’s favorite DK training ground, will you?

  1. “Okay, listen. I’m not saying that walls have to be your highest priority when the ground itself isn’t entirely solid. But Honor Hold, seriously – look across the way. The Horde have managed to keep their walls together. We have unemployment in Westfall. You have holes in your walls you can fly a dragon through (trust me, I’ve done it.) Here’s a Stormwind Labor Requisition Form. You can connect these dots, right?”
  2. “Sure am glad my Factor sent me out here for that Runed Adamantine Rod reicpe, always nice to come back to sunny Hellfire WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT’S BIND ON PICKUP!”
  3. “Wow, there sure is a lot of pork on the menu here. Do you have a pig problem or something?”
  4. “Explain to me again the strategic importance of the Stadium. Uhhuh. Okay. Right. You realize that what you said made no sense, right? Are you planning on holding a game there soon? No? Okay, then it’s just an empty stadium.”

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